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Y&R Discussion Group
I have to rant. It's Monday morning, cold outside, and I really don't want to go to work, but I have to.
My other siblings for some reason have never picked up on the 'habit' of going to work. I have a brother and a sister who have skated through life on handouts and pity. It makes me sick, since it is my parents who basically support them. They have five children between them that don't have any idea what financial hardship is b/c they've been bailed out so many times by my parents. I don't just mean bailed out. I mean these gets get annual trips to Disney World, gold trips, and just about every other thing you can think of (oh, and parents tickets are included too.) I've never been able to go, b/c I am working.
Brother and sister seem to think that they, and their children, are entitled. It just makes me sick. Now, it's time for me to get my butt to work. Vent ended (for now.)
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Your parents are spending your inheritance before they pass. It's their right, but it doesn't seem fair. You all lose in that respect, they miss out on one of the joys of life: being independent and you miss out on what they might have left you. I know you don't care as much about what you're out, but that they are taking advantage of your folks. That's a huge point of disrespect for me. It's one thing to be down on one's luck or need to borrow, but to soak everything they need to live on from your folks, that's almost criminal. If they were doing it to an unrelated neighbor, it would be criminal. Technically, it is stealing, if they can work, but won't and could manage, but don't. They would actually do your siblings a favor if they would STOP supporting them now and put the money in a trust for later and force them to work now. If they don't start working soon, when they do have to work, what kind of skills will they have? What kind of jobs could they hold? Could they actually have a career or will it be McDonald's?
I have always supported myself. Sure, my folks have always been generous with me, but they were never rich. Now, both of them are gone and it's just me. It's a scary thought, but I have to deal with it. They should deal with it while they're younger and your parents are still alive.
Good luck!
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Well, it's your parents money to do with as they see fit.
If I was you, I'd start prepping the siblings now, once your parents money is gone and/or they are, you're not there to keep the gravy train in motion. That train has left the station.
It's Aesop's the Ants and the Grasshopper fable, which goes back to the 7th Century B.C.. For some reason, there's been a few of these stories on MD lately.
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I'm standing behind her with three items because that's all I could afford that day and just about fell on the floor! I worked my entire life (I'm now 65!) and I can't get food stamps because ''I make $600 too much''. I guess I don't know how to work the system but it seems alot of people do!!
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Katiesbeach, boy do I hear you. My husband has 2 sisters who have grown adult children who won't work and their parents still let them live at home, until they move in with some boyfriend and when that doesn't pan out, they move back in with parents, and the parents take them. They do not have medical issues that would prevent them from working. They have reasons like they can't work at Starbucks because they would have to get up early. In my family I was taught early on that you have to work to earn not only monitary reward, but self esteem and pride in providing for yourself, and not being dependent on others. When I was growing up all I wanted was to graduate, get a job and move out into an apt, the thought of living, as an adult, with my parents (who were wonderful & I loved very much) was horrifying.
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I don't blame you for feeling that way, Katie. It's a frustrating to see people taking advantage like that. But in the end I don't believe the freeloaders are as happy and fullfilled deep down as someone who makes their own way in life.
There's a similar situation in my family with my oldest sister's daughter. She's 47 years old and has the maturity of a 15 year old. She's put her parents and children through some horrendous times. She's twice divorced with 2 sons; both husbands were deadbeats who never earned a decent living nor paid child support. My sister and BIL have helped support my niece all of her adult life. After losing a good job about 3 years ago due to downsizing, my niece has not worked except for part-time bartending (which is not enough for her to live on) and hasn't been serious about looking for work. My sister & BIL practically raised my niece's oldest son (who, thankfully, turned out to be a wonderful person) and are helping raise the younger son (fingers still crossed on that one; his future is more iffy). But they are senior citizens now and living off retirement income. They don't have the stamina nor the money to deal with a middle-aged daughter with Peter Pan syndrome and her troubled teenager.
The stress that my niece's poor judgment has caused her parents has resulted in some very serious health problems for them. My niece adores her parents but she's oblivious to the fact that she is the cause of their stress. She will be lost without them someday. But it's as though confronting her own culpability and her parents' mortality is too much for her to handle emotionally, so she just blocks it out and goes on as always. My sister & BIL realize they helped create this mess by enabling my niece all her life but they're afraid of what will become of her and the younger boy if they withdrew their support now. The situation could get dangerous for my younger nephew. It's a bad situation all around and very hard to watch. The rest of us try to help for my nephew's sake, but it's a fine line between helping him in the short run and enabling his mother (which will only hurt him in the long run). What to do, what to do...
You are preaching to the choir, as that is a huge pet peeve of mine - people who skate by on handouts, whether they are government, family, etc, while the rest of us (especially the middle class) work our arses off. It's just not fair.
When will those of us who actually contribute to society actually get something handed to US for a change?!
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